And in the bathroom
I sat unaware of the imminent doom.
The TP was hung on the holder with care.
It doesn't matter the tube was actually bare.
My hair was wild with that morning look
With eyes half open I scrolled through Facebook.
With Kristy at work and I just awake
I'd just sat down for a bathroom break.
When what to my half open eyes should appear
But a creature was moving on the wall oh so near.
He had legs galore and a plump little bodice
He moved stealthily, he was not a creeping novice.
With just as much stealth I concluded my business
And fled to the hall to gather my senses.
I ran to the kitchen to get the bug spray
And returned to the hall to mutter and pray
Armed only with spray, no camo or shoe
Oh tanks! oh grenades! I could really use you.
With a check on the monster I eased by the door
I sprayed and I prayed and he hopped to the floor.
I sprang to the hall to retreat for a second
But the monster he followed, now war he had beckoned.
I screamed not a squeal, but went straight to my work
I sprayed him some more
This plump hopping jerk.
I began to wonder if this spray was the ticket
To kill, to demolish, my foe, Camel Cricket.
But after about a 10-second spray
He made one final leap
And on the floor dead he lay.
With one eye on the creature I backed into my room
I acquired a shoe to be sure of his doom.
His death now confirmed I grabbed a Kleenex
And scooped him up and flushed him to rest.
And I thought to myself as he spun out of sight
"The world must know -- I have fought a good fight."
